i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
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