Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
