how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Randomize
