I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
I enjoy the company of your penis
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
