Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Randomize
