So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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