Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
