Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
