Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Randomize
