Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
