Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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