I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
