walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize