I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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