Hey man sorry I got all grabby
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
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