i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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