god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
