Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
