2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
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