Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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