I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
