I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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