I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
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