i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Randomize
