It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
