Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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