All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Randomize
