called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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