I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Randomize
