BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I think people are normalizing furries
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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