Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
