I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
