Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Randomize
