Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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Sorry lilbluedemon07 hasn't picked any favorites yet.

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(908): View more from New Jersey

i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.

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(248): View more from Michigan

your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.

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(740): View more from Ohio

I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake

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(313): View more from Michigan

I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING

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(859): View more from Kentucky

i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey

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(541): View more from Oregon

I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?

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(416): View more from Toronto

whose parrot is this?

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(248): View more from Michigan

Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.

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