do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
