Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
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