i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
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