I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
My life is pants optional.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
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