We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
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