so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
