You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Randomize
