just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
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