He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
