I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
He passed out mid-signature
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
