there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
