You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Randomize