It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
