Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize