you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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