How'd it feel making her break her religion?
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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