i think i have two assholes
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Everclear isn't food dammit
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Randomize
