What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
high people should be assigned attendants
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Randomize
