i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
