Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
Randomize
