I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
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