I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Randomize
