There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
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