Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Randomize
