Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize