Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
