I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Sorry about my life...
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
