I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
