doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
