It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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