There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
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