She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
