You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize