I need help removing her.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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