We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
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