You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
